Sunday, October 25, 2015

Salting the Life Leaches

Salting the Life Leaches

We all know at least one life leach and if we aren't careful we can become one ourselves. Life leaches are people who are so wrapped up in negativity they find a way to suck the life out of everything. They are masters of finding the problem in every solution. They find fault with everything and everyone. It is entirely possible that being a life leach is a requirement for holding a political office. 

Life leaches always hate where they live and find a way to be miserable in all seasons. Mention the beautiful fall colors in Vermont and they will reply that the scenery in Florida is awful. Talk about your favorite barbecue joint in Kansas City and they will tell you that every restaurant within 50 miles of your current location is terrible, the service is the worst, and there are live rats living inside the salad bars.

The life leach has no solutions for anything because to them there are none. If a problem appears to be solvable the problem can be leach-magnified until it is utterly hopeless. If need be they will resort to conspiracy theories. The beauty of a good conspiracy is that it is impossible to prove or disprove and then everyone who doesn't buy the theory is a sheeple being willfully deceived. The life leach loves to label others in insulting ways, preferably en masse. Don't try to offer any solutions for their problems either. Problems aren't meant to be solved, they are meant to be expounded upon until all life in their vicinity ceases.

If you ever show an interest in an issue or a current event the life leach finds a way to put you down for caring about that and not one of their hopeless causes. After all, what kind of person could you be if you care about something other than what they are angry about? Surely you can't just be caring in general and trying to make the world a better place. That's just wrong!

The energy field of a true life leach is almost tangible. It certainly shows in their expressions and the deep, miserable sigh they make if you wander within their conversation trap danger area. An unguarded victim finds themselves suddenly stripped of all cheerfulness and enthusiasm as they are buffeted about in a flood of contention. By the time they finally break out of the riptide of bad attitude they have been hopelessly swept out to misery sea.

The person being a life leach is exhausted. Finding the cloud in every silver lining is hard on the eyes. Making everything hopeless takes a lot of creativity. Misery loves company but can't keep it. Herein lies the weakness of the life leach. The life leach is devoid of any real energy. Rather than trying to have some of their own they try to eliminate it from their lives.

So what can be done about the leach? What kind of salt will work? Actually being the salt and light that Jesus talked about is exactly the best choice. You also have the upper hand if you are prepared and not caught off guard. You would think that exuding life, enthusiasm, and positivity would be tiring but it is actually invigorating. Be a problem solver, the person who has something good to say about everyone, the adventurous one who is happy to go try new and exciting things, and constantly work to better yourself. It won't take long and you will see the life leaches disappear from your company. They will either change their ways and start to live, or they will avoid you like the plague. Either way you win.

To be honest, we all struggle with getting a little leachy from time to time. The good news is it's pretty easy to turn around. It actually takes more effort to remain a leach. So go get salty! 

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